Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Mix of stuff
Well , I think this weekend has been pretty fun so far. Friday I started watching Shrek 2 in craig's apartment but had to leave early because I had made plans to hang out with Korey. Went over there and watched Awakenings....very good movie. It doesn't have like a ton of action or anything, it's almost slow-moving, but it's not. It's just very interesting. I very much enjoyed it :). Then today, actually got up and worked out so I was proud. Then Lizzie and I went out to dinner....fun fun fun times! I love that girl :). Came back here and popped in a movie...Bridget and Angela came by and finished watchin the movie with us...good times. It was nice cuz after the movie was over we just sat and talked for like 2 hours...just about random stuff. It was so fun plus it was nice to spend more time with the girls on my floor. I don't always get the chance to get to know them better cuz I'm always so busy during the week. GT ;)

This weekend has definitely put a lot of things into perspective for me. I've come to realize that there really are people out there who care for me...who truly like me for who I am. That means more to me than anything else. I think I'm starting to grow up about certain things in my life...sure it's kind of late but better late than never. I'm starting to believe that maybe I am a good person in some regards and that people actually like the person that I am. It's refreshing to just be happy with who I am and be able to feel comfortable with who I am.

I just want to thank a certain person....not going to name you...you'll know who you are. Basically, you have become such an important person in my life. It's amazing how great friends can just walk into your life when you least expect it...and when you most need it. I remember back in high school (like most ppl probably did) I was almost near disgusted with myself at times. I hated everything I was. When I came to college, it got better but I knew that I wasn't completely satisfied with who I was, and I knew that at times I tried to be something I wasn't to impress others. But this year is totally different....I can look at myself and be happy with what I look like. I can do little things for other people and realize that maybe it is enough...maybe I'm not such a horrible person like I thought. Maybe you're not the only reason, but I do feel that you are a major reason why I'm happier with who I am. It's always best to believe in yourself but knowing that someone else believes in you just makes it that much better. Knowing that you're there for me is one of the most warming thoughts in the world. It's not just that I know it, I feel it. It would take a lot to have doubts with you and that means so much to me. It's hard to think of many people who make me feel that way. I appreciate your friendship so much...probably a lot more than you even realize. Sometimes you think you're a bad person and you have doubts in yourself, but I don't know if you realize how great of a person you are. How much you inspire me and how you allow me to feel good about myself. I just wanted to say thank you for being you and thank you for being one of the greatest friends I've ever had. I appreciate everything you do and I want you to never forget that.

A good day, I think :)
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Straylight Run
Today was definitely a nice day. For once on a Friday it was actually sunny outside! Usually when I give tours on Fridays it's always so rainy and nasty outside but today, nope! It was lovely and it still is!

Took my chem. exam early this morning which actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be! I was surprised. It sucked but I honestly don't think I did too terrible. I felt pretty good as I walked out. The thing that bugs me is that he'll sometimes pick out details that he'll mention once in class and put them on the exam. And then there are other things that he spent so much time talking about and then they aren't on the exam. I don't know, he's a cool guy and he teaches well but his exams can be kinda sketchy. He's a good kid though:).

Gave a tour today too...not too shabby. Huge group so that was kind of rough and I'm sure people were bored out of their minds but oh well. Some things just aren't that exciting I guess. I try to glorify certain things but some things you just can't glorify. I'm such a dork though, as soon as we get to the Brewhaus, I get so excited. I love that place and I want others to love it. I just want people to see the laid-back atmosphere around some parts of campus. I don't know, I guess I just get so excited with people wanting to come to school here or when my friends go off to college for the first time. I want people to enjoy it as much as I do. I guess the tour thing is a good job for me then...who knows. When people from Grafton come to school here I get sooooooo happy. Like one girl that was on dance team with me my senior year is coming here next year. I can't wait!! My Candace! Not only that but she's also going to try out for the dance team....how fun is that!! Yay for her! Also, one of my brother's best friends might be coming here next year too. I love the kid to pieces...my Matty!! My cousin might be coming here....awww, such good choices. Again, see how nerdy I am?? I just get so excited for people to come here.

Haha, on a funny note, Christin has started her Sans Pants day. Btw, Nov. 5 is OFFICIALLY Sans pants day. Everyone should take off of work and sit around in their underwear all day. Or....everyone just go to work in their underwear...just bring a blanket for the cold weather. Can you imagine?? If Sans Pants day became national?? Christin, we should start a revolution. It's so refreshing!! Honestly, who wouldn't want to lay around in their underwear all day?? I'd do it all week! With the exceptions that it was nice outside and that I had some cute boy-cut underwear. Yeah, rule of Sans pants day should be that you have cute underwear. Definitely....Anyway, I think I should be done. Maybe more later. Yeah, this is long but this is what happens when I want to procrastinate :).

Who knows....
Mood:  down
I'm just tired of today already. I feel like shit and my day is barely over. Still got tons of chem left and meetings up the ass. What fun. Plus, I have to get to the polls to vote still and I'm still even wondering if I should vote. I'm so irresponsible not planning ahead and getting more information. I just feel that I know as much as I should to make a decent vote. And why make an uneducated vote? I just don't see much point in that. But I know that if I didn't, I'd have quite a few people bitching at me. I could always lie but yeah....I suck at it. It sucks...you know I should know a lot of stuff that's going on in the world but I honestly don't have time in my day to sit down and read every last detail of a newspaper. I'm such an uninformed citizen to this country....terrible. I almost feel like if I try to jump in and start watching the news or read the paper religiously, I'll be lost because I missed out on so much beforehand. Who knows.

I'm sorry for sounding not-so-happy but that's just kind of how I feel. And I really don't have someone to talk to about it so I figure this thing should help. I don't know why, I just find it hard to talk to people lately. Like I can say something to a friend of mine about how I'm feeling and I'm pretty sure that they really don't know what I'm talking about. Or maybe I don't tell them enough. But then again, the times when I've been completely honest with someone other than myself, it comes right back at me to bite me in the ass. I hate how that happens. Messages and thoughts just get filtered and passed on to others so innnocently and then all hell break loose. I fear that....especially with what I feel now. It sucks when you have something that just irks you so bad but you have no one to talk to about it, because you know that by telling one person you've told about 5...or more. Even if you have a friend you can completely trust...either it sometimes slips from them to someone else because they trust the person they are telling or you forget that you only wanted to tell so many people and you realize later that you told like 10 people how you're feeling....a few of those people not even being close friends. Grrrrrr...I hate not being able to say what's on my mind sometimes....

But anyway, class calls me.....

Yay for today!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Breathe, Stretch, Shake......;)
Well, slept until 11 today....yay for me :). I love being able to sleep in on the weekends. Last night was a blast. Went to the Smith hall Halloween bash. It prolly would've been amazingly awesome if more people were there but it was still awesome. We all made it a good time and I got some wonderful shaking lessons from Martin and Liz :). Those always help. I've beeb trying to practice more so I can one of the best ass shakes at hip hop class by the end of the year....haha. There was mucho dancing going on but of course I held back most of the time and just stuck to my "just nod your head, jig, and shake to the beat." I get too scared to just go at it with everything I've got. Either I can only go all out in my room or if I were to have a few drinks in me. Why's it gotta be like that? Maybe I should just start pretending that no one else is there. Would that help? Let's hope so.

Lol....got an injury last night too. Liz was trying to spin me and when she got me up and spinning my feet smacked into this humidifier thing we have down in the basement. It hurt like hell and I think I have some bruises on my feet but hell, it was so friggin funny. All I could do is laugh. I got a few cuts too.....no big deal ;). She's too cute. She's such a cute dancer too....haha, what a great kid.

And this song friggin rocks...."The Rooster" by Outkast. If you have never heard it, friggin make sure you do! It is so awesome...."Throw ya neck out, throw ya back out.." Ok I'm done now but damn, this song is awesome. Great party song. And the Outkast men have quite the sexy voices...I don't get it but their voices are hot. And so are they...haha.

Well I suppose I should run to Kameapart to pick up my pictures! Haha...I've had these since summer and forgot what's all on the roll so this should be interesting! :) Have a great day everyone!

I'm actually looking forward to it now!
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Rage Against the Machine
Wow, wasn't looking forward to this Halloween bash thingy but now that I have an idea of what I'm going to be, I'm actually excited. Haha....I have no money for a costume but thanks to Riggs...I am now going as a hula girl :). I'm happy someone has creativity when I don't have ideas.

I had a weird morning. You ever wake up and you're sad or bummed about something but you don't know what?? Like you wake up and feel like you're all alone....I hate that feeling...especially in the morning. I think it could be due to all these things going on in my head right now. Just confused as to how I should feel about things and wondering if it's even worth my thoughts. Or if my "thoughts" are fooling me. I have no clue what's going on. I just hope I know soon cuz I'm tired of thinking about everything.

But enough of that weird morning because now I'm happy. My good buddy Teej called me!! Haven't talked to him in forever! I miss him so much....such a good friend. It's nice how you can be in high school and be kind of friends with someone and then get to college and you become even better friends. That's kinda how it is with Teej. But yeah, I think we might actually get to hang out tonight! I don't think we've done much else besides get dinner every now and then. This makes me happy. I just feel like shit sometimes because I get so busy during the week that sometimes all I have time for is dinner or lunch with my friends every now and then. It'll be nice to do something else for once.

Wow, ok I really like this song..."Somebody told me" by the Killers. Kind of strange beat but it pumps me up. Yay for that. I love songs that get the adrenaline going. Another one for me is "Suffocate" by Cold. That song is GREAT for when you're kinda pissed off and just want to sing your pissed-off-ness out. I love it. But it's also good for when you just have a lot of energy....maybe that's just me. But it's kind of one of those "I hate women" songs...oops. I guess I'll just have to flip it around a little in my mind. But I like guys....not too many problems there. nyway, I'm confusing myself with my nonsense and I have to go work desk. Maybe more later?

I think a hug would work....
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Nickelcreek
Well, today was actually all in all a good day. I woke up this morning with a beautiful card outside my door from the government. It was Staff Appreciation day and it seriously felt like my birthday. The card was so incredibly sweet....thank you so much guys!! And Martini....how amazing of you to put so much time into the card. It's beautiful and you're awesome :). Fell asleep in my only class of the day...what's new? Then went to the UC to hang out with the boy for a while...then waited for Ali and she couldn't meet me again :(. Kinda sucked cuz I was looking forward to talking to her. Then the afternoon went on of course...got my CA presentation done...thank the Lord. It wasn't a big deal but I was sick of thinking about it, ya know? Afterwards was kind of interesting...I started to talking to this one girl who used to live in Smith and is now a CA in a different hall. We just started talking about random stuff and it was so nice :). She's such a sweetheart. I just like having nice talks with people. Seriously, nice conversations can totally make my day. So small, yet means a lot...just a simple stop and chat (right, J??).

I was totally pumped to go to Hip Hop tonight to continue to get my ass in shape but yeah, it got canceled. Just my luck, eh? Eh well. Shit happens, plus I got a lot of homework done. Yay for me :). Guess I'll have to get up early tomorrow to work out.

I think today I realized that I take a lot of things for granted sometimes....there are so many times where I just get so down and I forget about some of the wonderful people that surround me everyday. I just feel like sometimes I burden others when I don't really like think I do. I just want to say to all of you that I appreciate everything you do for me....even if it's as simple as asking me how my day was. Some of you have no idea how much a simple gesture means but you know now. I love you all more than you know. I'm sorry, I've been an emotional rollercoaster the past couple days...just analyzing stuff...pondering...or maybe it's just the broken factor if you know what I mean....haha. Who knows. Anyway, bed time for me...early morning tomorrow. Have a great night everyone.

GRRRRRRRRRR
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Random stuff
I'm just so frustrated with many things right now. I don't understand sometimes how people can be so damn immature and rude to others. Honestly, how can people be so judgmental of others or write them off for completely stupid shit? Or if something is really bothering a person why can't they just talk to the person who is doing the thing that is bothering them? Why the hell is it necessary to tell everyone else about it?? What the fuck? Some people really need to grow up.

Not only that, but why do people always need to use labels for people? Like "that girl is such a bitch" after talking to them once. Or "that guy is such a fag." Why do people do that?? Does it really make someone feel better to automatically label someone? I just don't understand it. I'm sure I make some ridiculous judgments at times, I'm not perfect. But I don't think I would ever hear such things come out of my mouth as some things I hear from some people around me. It just hurts me to hear people be so verbally cruel to others behind their backs. And you know, I can understand if you're having a problem with someone and you want to confide in a friend about it, but do you honestly need to tell everyone that you know that the person is a bitch?? Hmmm....unnecessary, and lots of wasted breath for you.

Anyway, sorry, today was kind of crappy and those are my thoughts. Otherwise, I myself am happy as a person. Besides the fact that I have no time anymore for the things that once used to matter for me. I feel like I've been handed a whole new set of things to care about and have been forced to push all others aside. I just hate it sometimes. I feel like I have no time for any of my friends and that I only make time for all of the shit I have to do....homework, CA stuff...I don't get it. I can't get good grades unless I sit on my ass all day and study so that's what I try to do and then?? No time for friends, no time for programming. I suck. But I'm done venting cuz mayeb real world will make me feel better.

Great Day, I'll Say :)
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Better Than Ezra
Today for the most part was a wonderful day :). I finally got my ass out of bed this morning to go work out...I was very proud of myself. It wasn't a strenuous work-out but at least I did something. Then went to my first class, Marketing..found out I got an A- on the exam I was worrying about so that started my day off terrifically. Then after that lunch with the boy. I feel kind of bad for him because he's been having lots of frustrating roommate issues lately. It kinda sucks. That's one reason why I'm glad I'm not living with a group of people in a house or whatever. I love people but I don't want to get mad with them if we have different living styles. I'm glad the only messes I have to worry about are mine. Then at lunch I saw my Holla and Maggie. I miss those girls so much. I wish I saw them more cuz I'm always in such a good mood around them. I just wish my schedule wasn't so damn busy...grrr to that.

Anyway, my three hour lecture actually did end up going the full time (boo) but I ended up doing amazing on my first exam (yay!!). It's crazy...that class is kinda tough and confusing so I was very proud of myself. I don't get it though...either I actually am kinda smart or the prof. really likes me...haha. As J said, it's most likely the latter...thanks asshole :). We were talking about some weird crap in that class though today. Like taking statements and arguments and taking the conversion, obversion or contraposition of them. OR you can use the square of opposition to change the meaning or truth value of the argument. For the most part I understood it or at least I thought I did and then right when he got to the end it went way over my head. Lol....oh well. I still have to read the book yet so hopefully that will help me. It usually does. Yeah, how does that work?? I hate reading yet I learn the most from the readings. Funny how that can work out sometimes.

Tonight was a grand time. Hip hop was so damn fun! Martin is amazing. The routine was pretty damn sweet and he added in some wonderful pelvis exercises....lol. As much as I hate shaking my rear, it helped a little. I dunno why, I just feel uncomfortable with that. I feel like hoochish or something. But at the same time it's fun. I just don't like doing it in front of ppl. I feel weird...like ppl are staring at my rear.....ewwww.

Anyway, time to shut the hell up and get work done. Today was a great day. Hopefully shat Tuesday will follow in Monday's footsteps :). One of my classes got canceled so it most likely will be wonderful. Haha....anyway, goodnight to all and to all a goodnight and may you all have a splendid day tomorrow! :)

Meh...don't get it sometimes
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Chevelle along with others on the "rock stuff" playlist
Well, who knows...I feel like I was a walking blob most of the day..haha. Well, just certain parts...as for the parts when I didn't feel that way....

Went to the choir concert...surprisingly it was only like 20 minutes long! Well, at least the part when the girls sang.. Muy bonita! Came back and decided to watch the game first instead of going straight to the studies. Thank god I did that....they kicked some Dallas ass and kicked it rather well. Favre had some nice passes..I was pleased. After that I went straight to the Brewhaus to get my study on. Didn't finish all of my chem readings like I had wanted to but damn...I don't think I could read 2 chapters of that book in one sitting. Yuck to that. That class is not my favorite at all let's just put it that way.

I don't know why but I'm just in this very odd mood right now....like I'm down but I don't know why. Why does that happen? Who does that? Honestly...blah. Blah blah blah...I hope I get up to work out tomorrow. I've been having troubles with that lately...haha...getting up from sleep when I want to. I just really want to get in better shape but I can't stay away from the naughty foods...oops. Well I can but I'm not doing a very good job of trying not to eat them. Anyway, I'm blabbering, anyway I feel like I am, and that can only mean one thing...'Tis time to sleep. G'night.

My first time with one of these!!
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Some Sublime, Jars of Clay
Haha...yup. Decided to get one of these blog thingys. They just seem fun and I thought, why the hell not?

Well, it's about 12:50 right now....just woke up. I feel like such a lazy ass because I didn't even have the energy to go work out when I clearly wanted to this morning...grrrrr to that. However, I deserved my sleep. I was up until almost 4am doing CA stuff last night. How does that work?? And then I had to wake up early this morning (about 8:30) to go open desk. What fun...so yeah, like any normal person would do I went right back to the bed. Yay for the bed.

Yesterday's effects are still with me today which kind of sucks. Heard some things that confused the shit out of me but luckily it all got figured out before I had the time to start overanalyzing like usual. I friggin hate when I do that...getting myself all worked up for no friggin reason. The positive thing out of all of this is knowing that I have good friends that are willing to tell me the truth...and that takes away any of the frustration that I may have. Although the whole situation kind of threw me off guard...yesterday was all in all a terrific day. Got to spend some time with people that I don't usually get to hang out with. Grand times and good conversations. I'm a sucker for good conversations....one of those that can just last forever if you had the time.

But yeah, I suppose it's time to shower since it's now 1pm. Gotta get ready for the girl' choir concert!! Woohoo :)